Sunday, August 12, 2012

Mountains of Christmas

It's the name of the font I use for the Post Title. I've used it in reference to the ribbing I get from my HMLA (aka my Love, aka her Father) in regards to me "hating Christmas". I do not hate Christmas, of course, I simply didn't grow up believing in Santa Claus, as the gift-bringer, and do not wish to raise my daughter any differently. On the other hand, my HMLA, and her Nana, are determined to celebrate all things Santa. This will be her first Christmas, so my HMLA constantly makes (joking) remarks to people about how much I hate Santa. I do not hate Santa, but the reasons I have for not presenting him as a constant in my daugher's life are as follows:

a. I knew my parents and other people who loved me were the ones providing the gifts under the Christmas tree. This didn't lessen my appreciation for, and enjoyment of, Santa themed movies, songs, stories, decorations, etc. I liked them just as much as Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and Frosty the Snowman. A common argument from pro-Santa parents, is that by telling your child Santa isn't real, you're "stealing the childhood magic" from them. As someone who grew up knowing that Santa wasn't real, but who fully believed that fairies, unicorns and mermaids were real, I have to argue that my childhood was fully immersed in magic. A belief in Santa missing from the equation didn't lessen my magical imagination one bit. Nor did it dampen my excitement on Christmas Eve, as I waited for 6am to roll around the next morning, which was the earliest we were allowed to wake my parents up. (For they had stayed up all night setting up the tree tableau and recording the "before kids opened everything" moment.)

b. My parents worked hard, and put a lot of thought into providing the gifts for us they could afford with their budget. It meant more to me, personally, to know that someone in my life had provided the presents I received, than if it was some Santa who just gave gifts to everybody, based on his list. Not to mention the fact that, since I knew some years that my parents were working with less income, it made sense as to why some years we got less than years before. It helped instill a feeling of gratitude for the gifts, and, I believe, made it to where we didn't take our Christmas gifts for granted.

c. Psychologically, I disagree with, and am adverse to, perpetuating the idea that being "good" is what earns you gifts via Santa, or not. What if your child is "good" all year, and what they really want for Christmas is a pony, but you cannot afford and/or house a pony? I never got a pony, or a sister, although I asked for one every year. If I had believed in Santa, then you open up the possibility of a child (me) believing they haven't been "good" enough. Or, conversely, what if they know a kid at school that gets in trouble all the time, yet, due to their parents having more means, they end up getting more presents than your well-behaved child does? There goes the "making the list" promise, right out the window. How are you going to explain why Santa did that?

d. Psychologically, Santa Claus is the most common first lie parents tell their children. I don't see how you can annually perpetrate this myth (until some kid at school finally breaks the traumatic news) and then tell your child they can't blame their misadventures on an invisible friend of theirs. (Mom, Drop Dead Fred spilled all that milk, not me.) Sure, you could argue that Santa is a lie supporting a rewarding behavior of gift-reception, and Fred is a lie supporting a lack of personal responsibility for one's actions, but is that how you want your children to perceive lying in general? As an "if it's for benefit it's okay" type of action?

All of my above points notwithstanding, I am not going to interfere with my HMLA, nor her Nana, in their Santa propaganda this year, nor in years coming. I don't care if they want to make cookies to leave out for Santa with her and I don't care if they want to label gifts as being "from Santa". I will not, however, tell my daughter that Santa is real, and neither will her Mammaw, so they better hope she doesn't ask us. It's just a difference in how the two sides of the family approach the common holiday. In the end, it will be up to my little Matchgirl to decide if Santa is "real" or not. The magic is all in her heart, anyway.

So, not what I expected my first post to be about, but I suppose I never had a starting point to being with, and a discussion on holiday custom via fonts seemed to beg the occasion.

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